Category Archives: FFRF

069 – Jack Hammer Jesus

Finally, we’re back and if all goes well, the show will be back on Stitcher, Spreaker, iTunes and others by the end of the day.  Now a once a month show until and if only we can con others into supporting us via Patreon.  Episodes 67 and 68 are MIA and probably will never be available and for that I apologize, but I will make efforts to never allow that to happen again.

Jack Hammer Jesus

Religious ToysThis show covered a lot of ground, what given the 4.5 hours, why shouldn’t it.  Listeners joined us in the new chatroom over here and some joined us live on the video feed.  The conversation got deep into sex when Dave Foda and friends joined us.  I learned about Jack Hammer Jesus and some other blasphemous sex toys.

The eloquent Dave Foda can make about anything sound sexy, but couple his prose with his voice and the subject of sex and we all began to squirm, especially Stephanie our fearless moderator and call screener.  Dune also helped us moderate the chatroom to avoid spam and incessant pleas from the Jesus botherer crowd.

The Rant

Longer than normal, my penance for being painfully absent of late – contained a breakdown of the most common Christian beliefs and the damage caused by half-assed Christians.  I quote some recent hate mail received by the Freedom From Religion Foundation and further on in the show continue my vitriolic diatribe concluding my thoughts on this mess.  You can find the entire script below.

Pastor Roy’s Community Report

All Patrons

70 patrons received a shoutout for their undying love and support.  I can’t believe how many suffered through our absence without abandoning the ship.  I love you and thank you for your continued support.  If you haven’t seen it yet, I put up some clips for you on the Patreon page and also added a video that anyone can view.  Here’s the video.

The Live Feed Recording

Topics We Discussed

Has your religious indoctrinations had a negative effect on your sex life?  What did you do to overcome them?

Thought crime – many won’t think because thinking critically and examining your beliefs can be considered unholy, unfaithful and a crime against God.  How can we introduce the religious to reason and logic if they consider doubt a sin?

Professor Stephen

With a brand new bow tie and his case full of woo busting science, Professor Stephen helped covered the Cherry Picking Fallacy and then destroyed Quranic Embryology horseshit.  Muslim apologists have forever touted their holy scriptures as explaining embryology far before anything was known on the subject.  Professor Stephen used their book to annihilate this ignorant claim.


These are the beliefs of the majority:

that somewhere in the Universe is a man thing called God and he listens and answers requests for magical intervention into our lives.

That 2000 years ago, this God, had sex with a virgin causing her to get pregnant so that he could take a human form, to later be used as a blood sacrifice to himself in order to save us all from the eternally brutal punishment in a place called hell where you burn but never die.

That the bible is the inspired words of God, and although most have never read it and none follow 100% of it’s laws, they believe it to be 100% true.

That angels exist and most have seen one form or another of one.

That invisible creatures from another world exist only to torment them and prevent them from worshipping their God.

That God is 100% moral and is the essence of love although he allows the rape and death of children daily.

That God is 100% omni-benevolent yet will allow 20,000 children to die today and every day going forward.

That morals come from God, yet their God condones rape, incest, genocide, infanticide and slavery all of which the majority avoid.

That without the threat of eternal torture, that we would not be able to live in a peaceful society.

That demons can take over your body and make them do bad things.

That their desires sexually come from the devil.

That there is a king demon called Satan and his only goal is to steal their eternal soul.

That within their bodies they have a soul that survives death and is the arbiter in determining right from wrong.

That not believing in their God is cause for your eternal damnation.

That not believing in any gods is proof that you are a worshipper of satan.

That a god man walked on water, that he healed the blind, that he cured a few people and that he cast demons from a city into the bodies of pigs.

That the earth stopped spinning and the sun stopped moving.

That the earth is 6000 years old and dinosaurs lived a few thousand years ago.

That of the 613 laws demanded them by their God, the most important are:

1.  no man on man sex

2.  no abortions (although not mentioned, they gather it from the thall shalt not kill law which they dismiss completely when it comes to eradicating other people who worship a different God)

The law important enough that it is given specific priority in the bible and that the bible gives an example for it’s author to record is completely ignored.

Keep the sabbath day holy.  Do no labor on this day and goes further to demand that if anyone be seen violating this law, they are to be killed.

Not one Christian abides.  Not one defends it or attempts to explain it.

This majority has just accomplished a landslide victory and placed at the helms of our Governments, state and federal, the most elite fucktards ever.  We now have a house and senate that is run by ignorant, half assed, bigoted Christians.

Already these wing nuts were able to get God on our money, they were able to interpolate God into the pledge and change the Nation’s motto.

This majority of fucknuts have corrupted humanity, their laws have delved as far as the bedrooms of same sex couples.  They withhold rights from women and their bodies while condemning and abusing the homosexual community.

This large and powerful group whose majority are the most ignorant in society.  All of which are half assed christians who have not and never will examine their beliefs.  In Colorado, newly elected Senator Gordon Klinginschmidt openly and publicly believes that lesbianism is a product of demons.  That American law should reflect god’s laws, even if he doesn’t agree that we follow them all,

He believes and even wrote a book about how our president, President Obama is possessed by demons.  He believes gay people may sexually abuse their own children and that they want our souls.

He believes that all gays will go to hell and any judge who strikes marriage bans is imposing the devil’s laws.

He believes that it is mental rape to teach a child about alternative sexual relationships.

He believes life begins before conception

He believes:

Transgender kids need a good spanking and an exorcism

that gay rights activists want to force Christians into having sex with gays

that gay sex causes our soldiers to become incontinent and requires they wear diapers

that demons and devils invade animals and cause some to be gay

that Obama is causing cancer

and that by repenting of viewing pornography will cure cancer.


This fucknut is now a State Senator.  Not because the majority  is standing up and supporting him out loud, but because most, this majority I speak of, are so goddamned ignorant that although not as loud, they believe this same shit and support him in writing the laws of their state.


And he is far from the only one.  Our US House of Representatives and our US Senate is now held by a majority of these equally delusioned.

Right now in America, there are 1000’s upon thousands of church state violations.  Police chaplains, Preachy teachers, Bible brandishing coaches, city governments giving tax payer funds and special privilege to the christian groups, religious idols and iconography adorn many courthouse walls and lawns and the list goes on and on.

This week a teacher explained to my daughter that they were going to make a basket just like the inventors of baskets made.  Who’s the inventor – well according to the teacher, it’s those who placed the baby moses into the basket and sent him down a river.  When my daughter questioned how she learned that this was the first ever basket made, she said the bible was written thousands of years ago and it’s the oldest record of a basket.  This is a goddamned teacher       – of children!  Someone who’s been to college and avoided all the facts that were contrary to her unbelievable and factually wrong beliefs.

So   –   Dear Ignorant Half Assed Christian – Fuck You, fuck you for completely ignoring most of your holy commands saving only those that allow you to bolster your ego by dehumanizing others, suspend equality and ensure the continuation of immature and insane beliefs fester within society.

You’d not hear from me or my friends if you would forgo pushing your beliefs onto us and our secular society.  You’ll find that we aren’t complaining in front of the insane asylums demanding they shut the fuck up and if you’ll enjoy your imaginary friend from within your home or the asylum you call church, you’ll hear nothing from us either .


We must stand up and be counted, we must stop this continual abuse and encroachment by the most credulous believers of the insanity that is christianity.  If you can’t stand up because your livelihood would be threatened, or worse your safety and wellbeing, then don’t and no one better blame you.  But please do join the FFRF, if you can’t come out personally, as I can’t either, then pull out 40 bucks and join the FFRF.  They are the fighting line, with each new member they are able to scream louder, fight harder and overturn the abuses enacted by the Christian right.


And if given the opportunity, call a christian out on these wacky beliefs.  They are absolutely insane if viewed without the veil of faith – are self evident.



Dear half ass christian?  You are the ones that wear the jersey but never attend a game.  The ones that have a bible but have never read it.  God’s gift to you, a rule book of sorts, I’ve even heard it referred to as therapy – yet it gathers dust until Sunday and then is only used as an accessory while attending down at the local social gathering hole called the church.

If everything in your life could be better, if the book held the secrets and guides to a life of immense pleasure and blessing – why wouldn’t you use it?  Why wouldn’t you hold fast to it’s doctrines, trusting it’s threats and earning its rewards?

So you go to church every Sunday, you pray over your meals and you pay your tithes, but what about the rest? You half assers will ignore 99% and call yourself a Christian.

Anyone can buy a stethoscope but that doesn’t make you a doctor.  Just because I own some college text books and crack them open from time to time doesn’t make me a college student.

It’s you half ass christians, you’re more concerned with life, work, success, temporary joys than to risk being a fool – adhering to your laws commanded you and described in your book.

It’s you half ass christians who will ignorantly rant and rave about your rights as a christian when you’re exposed for violating the rights of others.  The FFRF gets hundreds of emails each month, every single one from half ass ignorant Christians.

The FFRF attempts with great success to prevent and stop the State Church Violations occurring Nationwide.  Recently, they filed complaints in several cities, one being Orlando Florida.  Orlando has taken tax dollars at the behest of half ass Christians and spent it on instituting programs in the police department for Police Chaplains.  Including a car, a salary and benefits, these illegal programs rob citizens of real protection.

With each lawsuit or letter, the FFRF gets inundated with more ignorant emails…


“Why don’t you people just go and blow your fucking brains out and leave us alone.”  Says

“This country is becoming a shithole thanks directly to your efforts.  I’m the apartment with the Israel sign in my window anytime one of you cowards want to knock on my door.”  Larry A Singleton  Riverside CA

“My goal is to destroy this organization. The majority rules… we will smash this website/organization or company like a sledge hammer to a ant.”  Andrew   Figueroa VA

These are your fellow Christards!  Half assers who’ve never read the bible, know nothing about the constitution save it be about owning a gun and the freedom to spout ignorant oral diarrhea from their shit holes.

“Morons, you really should all just take a bullet in the head and stop causing problems for people.  Rot in hell.”  Chris Ford

“Go over to Switzerland where youth in Asia is allowed and have it done to yourselves.” Ryan Mucko

“I’m a small business owner and if you dumb fuckers threatened me with some lawsuit because I offer discounts to my customers I would carry it all the way to the courthouse.  I think you’re a bunch of fucking nerds who probably were not raised in a two parent home.  Scott Arnold Landscape Architect Winston-Salem NC

Well fucktard Scott Arnold, you are a half ass Christian and you would lose.

“since god has been taken out of school schools are getting shot up by freaks with machine guns. You guys probably believe we evolved from apes.”  Melissa Reed – Rowlett TX

“Nazi Bastards!” – Hal Brickel jacksonville university

“you need to write ISIS and tell them you have some recruits for them called FFRF or Fart Fart Rectum Fart.  Have a lovely day Satan Spawn – Rick Pile

Calling them ignorant is too kind, it’s too mild.  They are fucktarded.  They have joined the largest club but aren’t fully vested.  It’s an ego booster for most and allows them avoid taking responsibility.  These hypocritical, fucktarded, racist, bigoted, misogynistic, self aggrandizing shit sucking scum are what allows their leadership to violate us all.

The holy Catholic church is a fine example of this in action.  It is demonstrably a corrupt and criminal organization who’s convinced the most ignorant among us, which is the majority – that they are above the laws and morals of man.  Without it’s fan club it would be tried, convicted and abolished.  Christianity without it’s fan base would be the same.

Religion does harm daily and it must be called out.  No longer above reproach, it should be criticized, mocked and destroyed.  No weapons or harm, but with logic, reason and education to it’s followers.   Let’s do this… Share knowledge with believers, start a meet up and encourage other atheists to join.  Pose questions to christians that make them think.  Use analogies that can be easily correlated with their beliefs.  Wear a tshirt that promotes discussions, get on Facebook and find Christian groups that encourage discussion.  Support the FFRF, if not by money, by sharing their action alerts and news.  Start a free blog, start a podcast or submit letters to editors.

We aren’t helpless and we are making change.  Let’s do this!

How do you get them to take note of their beliefs?  Most have never even given it two thoughts.  They are Christians, they have a cross and bible somewhere in the house and most likely over the door, hand stitched and framed it says:  For me and my house we shall serve the lord.

They go about their lives, they interact mostly with others of the same thinking and they attend the mind numbing services at church.  Some of them attend worship centers where music is the focus and dancing seems to encourage their wallets out of their pockets and purses and spill into the coffers that fund such grandeur.

30 minutes after the service, they are cursing the dumbass in the line at Walmart who’s forgotten her pin number and will most definitely respond with God Bless you back to the greeter who bids them the same.

I want to get their attention, not every Sunday and not to line my pockets with cash.  I want only about 10 minutes.  I would like to outline their dogma in hopes it opens their eyes for a second.  Lift that protective veil of faith, if only for a few minutes and let reason and logic be exposed to the truth and make of it what it wants.


Here’s the breakdown:


There is this invisible but all powerful and all knowing male figure in the universe somewhere.  He created everything, including this universe that is billions of years old, but waited approximately 9 billion years before making our earth and then waited another 4 billion before putting humans on it’s surface.

I’m going to stick to the facts, only that which science can demonstrate.

He then adds one person.  A male figure referred to later as Adam.  Adam can’t find a soulmate among the animals and God points this out directly to him and so he creates a woman.  Not in the same way mind you, not from dirt, but puts Adam to sleep and takes a rib and forms a woman.

They are given explicit instructions to stay away from knowledge and it’s tree.  But a talking snake convinces the woman named Eve to partake of the tree.

Adam follows and God must call out to them because he can’t find them.  He punishes them and banishes them from this holy garden.

Eve gets the worst of the punishment and is forced to endure periods, pain, cramps and the risks of laboring a child.  Adam has to work now for his food.

They have kids.  One of which pisses off God for not providing a sacrifice big enough and he takes his brothers life.

He’s banished to the land of Nod where he meets a wife.  But we can only assume it was some sister or niece he met there as Adam and Eve are the parents to mankind.

The world becomes filled with evil people and God wishes he had never made man.  He actually admits the error.  So he tortures all but 8 people until they are dead.  He also tortures by drowning, all animals and life on earth.

Now the human race must again deploy incestual relationships in order to repopulate the earth. Dads with daughters, dads with granddaughters and so forth.

The earth is repopulated nicely now and God picks out one group of people.  Of all the different tribes and peoples, one stands out as his favorite.  They are also the most illiterate and uncivilized group.  Other groups exist who are far more advanced, but God chose this particular group only.

He chose them to spread his message of fear and his laws throughout the world.


But even they can not live according to his laws which aren’t written by God, but instead held in the minds of the illiterates.  Much later to be remembered and written down.

Now these laws, 613 of them to be exact don’t condemn rape, genocide, infanticide, child abuse or slavery.  In fact just the opposite, God gives instructions and condones these acts.

Evil again and the best thing he could think of, this all knowing and all loving god, is to come to earth, impregnate a young lady whom already is promised in marriage and gets her pregnant through magic of some sort.  It actually says that the spirit came unto her.  According to the translation, the spirit of God had sex with her.

All is well and her fiancé accepts the conditions.  God has now impregnated her with himself so that he can be born with a human body.  His grand plan is to go unrecognized and unrecorded until almost 30 years of age and then begin a mission to teach people how to live and to tell slaves to obey their masters.

He actually says he came not to bring piece but instead a sword and to separate father from child and mother from child.

Now keep in mind, not one word of this is written and recorded by God, it’s all done via many other authors only to be later edited down to the form we see today.  100’s of other writings and recordings didn’t make the cut.


He does some magic tricks called healings, like he cures a lepper but doesn’t cure leprosy.  He heals the blind, but doesn’t cure blindness.  Well you get the drift.

He makes no mention of germs and how many millions who would be spared early deaths could be saved by simply washing their hands regularly.

His teaching is cut short by his own master plan to be a sacrifice to himself.  A blood sacrifice to himself by himself.  So he’s tortured for a day or two, strung on a cross and dies.

Now, finally all the wicked can be forgiven their sins and join him later in heaven to avoid his self created eternal tormenting hellfire.

Follow this:  he sacrifices himself to himself to protect us from himself

Snakes talk, donkeys talk, unicorns work the fields and babysit small children – dragons roam and water turns to wine.  All this in that holiest of books.

God made you imperfect and designed you to sin.  But he made an escape plan of sorts to prevent him from punishing you forever for those sins he designed you to do.

Now before I finish, I must share this….

You believe there is a God who knows you, watches over you and will help you out if you really, really need help and its in his will…

The in his will part is the asterisk, it’s the fine print, the legalese at the bottom which goes for pages.  It applies only to that which you are deemed worthy and God already was going to do anyway.

Further, this God still has all these laws, none of which were your relieved adherence from.  Christ, the God incarnate feller specifically commands you follow every jot and title of the old law.  You are to kill those found working on a Sunday, kill an unruly child, kill those who break any of the laws.  There is no wiggle room.  Yet somehow you manage to pretend to be a believer and faithful to your God, while ignoring even the most basic of commands.  The ten commandments say that the sabbath day is to be kept holy and no work is to be done.  The same chapter demands you kill anyone who disobeys.  Where o where do you get your morals from?


This God will allow a child to be taken, raped and killed but will come to your aid to bless your meal or to help you find a job.  This God allows thousands of rapes daily, allows over 20,000 children to die daily, allows infants to suffer, allows the most innocent to be abused but you believe he answers your prayers.

Your God requires you to worship him, to believe him and to give him praise.  Some claim there is a choice, but if a bad man puts a gun to your head and says he will torture and kill you unless you love him and follow him, what choice do you have.  How is your God any different.  He demands your praise with threat of eternal torture.



Regardless of how you attempt to explain that away, that’s the facts as you believe them.

Does this sound outlandish, maybe insane?  There is no evidence or proof to validate these beliefs, they all must be taken on faith and faith alone.  And nowhere else in life will you employ faith.  It’s only required when there is no evidence for belief.

I know, you can’t imagine anything different, but — there is.  There is this one life, this one chance to help others and extend the value of the lives to come.  You shutter at the thought that when you die that that is the end.  Not the end for all but for you.

But it’s true.  Many of the worst go unpunished, many of the best go unrewarded – but that is life.  It is right now and it’s all your going to get.  Enjoy every second, every minute, end the hopes and dreams for the invisible and imaginary.  Right now, you are here.  Take it for all it’s worth and help others achieve the same.

That’s what I want them to see.  You’d like to put it on paper but maybe use some analogy that follows along the same line to avoid the cognitive dissonance and the escape to faith.  You’d like them to watch the video, kissing hanks ass and see if they draw the correlation.

061 ExChristian Confessions Matthew O’Neil God Particle

I can’t even begin to tell you what an amazing show this is.  Starting with a rant on sin, modesty and whores, we then spoke with Andrea who was diagnosed last week with IIH and  then our guest, Matthew O’Neil, author of You Say That I Am joined us to discuss his new book and the Messianic problems of Christ. And all that, right at the beginning.

Somehow and I’m still trying to figure it out, we were plagued at the beginning of the show with two uninvited guests.  Unbeknownst to me, the audio on the video feed was muted and so the rant is only available above or via the podcast outlets like Stitcher, Spreaker and iTunes.  After the rant I figured it out and removed the visitors and un-muted my line.

No worries, the entire 4.5 hour show is available by clicking above or visiting our Stitcher page.

Pastor Roy – Catfish Creek Trailer Park

Keep up with all the going ons at CCTP with the community report and stay tuned for the Prayer Request Line Miracle Minute.  Finally a preacher that knows what God really wants.

Help Andrea and Casey Helping A Heathen Family

Andrea Gaudette-FontneauRamos is a friend of the show.  She was diagnosed last week with IIH which mimics a brain tumor by causing to much pressure on the brain.  Her husband Casey is working full-time while trying to keep up with the children and all the doctors appointments.

They have created a GoFundMe page seeking our support and already some of you have helped out. Please check out the page here and support them with whatever you can afford.  The God’s have informed me that because of your support, they will provide a dessert sometime in the future.

Matthew O’Neil

you say that i amI gushed enough during the show so I shall spare you here, but buy this book.  You Say That I Am is a very well written book that is palatable by anyone.  It will certainly arm you with information I’ve yet to hear about the Messianic problems with Christ (Jesus).

Although I’m in the camp that Jesus probably never existed in any form, this book provides evidence that counters much of what Christians will throw at you regarding the nature of Christ.  Last night we offered 10 free signed copies to anyone who posted on our facebook wall with a picture and a request for a copy. As of my writing we are at 5 or 6, so if you hurry, you might just get a free signed copy.

4 1/2 Hours – WTF?

Yup, we actually ran over our normal 3 hours by 1.5 hours and I promise, you’ve heard nothing like it.  Honestly, listening – the time will fly by.

We received several calls, we discussed Statism and the flawed ideas behind Libertarianism.  Professor Stephen said we will surely lose some listeners after our harsh words on both.

A Huge Thanks

Recently we have received new Patrons who have joined to support our efforts with the FFRF.  If you don’t know what I’m referring to, please help us save the fucking world by visiting:

We’ve also had several donations to our GoFundMe page in support of us attempting to make a significant impact in FFRF memberships.

Thank you all!  We love you and every cent, whether or the GoFundMe funds, it’s all gone to and will continue to secure memberships for those who can’t afford it.  Currently there are over 30 people waiting for memberships and we could use your help.  Simply go to and make a donation to help.

Professor Stephen Higgs BosonProfessor Stephen – Higgs Boson Particle

The Snake Oil Woo Woo segment is becoming the most popular part of the show thanks to Professor Stephen.  His knack for taking the complex and delivering it in bite sized pieces is uncanny.  Enjoy this weeks edition and get your learn on.

Let’s Kick Joyce Meyers Ass!

Want to help the show grow?  Yes!  Well head on over to our Stitcher page and help us boot Joyce Meyers or that Smiley Faced preacher off the top 5 list.  We are currently at the 33rd position and could use your help.

Simply go to Stitcher here and scroll down near the bottom and look for the orange “write a review” button.  Rate us and write a short review purdy puleeze.

Atheists On Air - Stitcher



This idea and belief that certain things are bad, very bad – in fact many are considered evil. My 15 year old daughter longs to be 25 as most do, likes to wear short shorts, belly shirts and tight jeans.  My older daughters suffered from my zealous moral ideologies severely.  It is the source now of much of my parenting guilt.


One of them after years of heavy indoctrination about premarital sex, revealing clothing and the incessant pleas to abstain from allowing a boy to violate her recounted her first sexual experience being anal.  All to avoid losing her virginity.


My plan worked on the vagina but I failed to cover the other orifices in my indoctrinations.  She at 17 went unprepared into a relationship and it’s my fault.  Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with anal sex.  It’s fantastic from my perspective now, but at one time I never considered that my edicts for abstinence would result in possibly dangerous attempts to satisfy a biological urge that is demonstrably stronger than any moral code and it’s accompanying punishment could dissuade.

I required skirts to the knees at least, shorts that came mid thigh and nothing remotely see through.  I taught them nothing of the joys or risks of sex and only spent my time foretelling of great sorrow and pain they would cause themselves if they surrendered to the sin of sex.  I told them how God sees all, that he would lift away blessings of protection and could possibly punish our entire family.

All this I learned and was just repeating the same.  Never did I reason with the ideas I firmly thought true, but instead accepted lock stock and barrel every immoral idea and indoctrination I’d received.

I was talking to my father once, prior to atheism and we were discussing heaven.  I told him I was going to ask God why he made mosquitos and sand gnats once I died and could meet him.  My father said he was going to ask why on earth he gave us such strong sex drives while forbidding most everything sexual.


Even then it did not hit me.  I didn’t question God’s legitimacy, I only questioned the logic of his rules.  But always this was short lived.  I never once considered that god wasn’t real.


Back to my youngest daughter.  By the way, I have six and hopefully my parenting is more in line with reason and logic than sociologic ideologies.  I have no problem now with her wearing the clothes she likes to wear.  My wife worries about what other people may be thinking and if they are having sexual thoughts about the girls, but I argue that I can’t control the thoughts of others and they don’t bother me in the least.


Today, Muslim men require daughters to hide their faces to prevent males from having sexual or lustful thoughts.  Women are not free to express themselves in the least.  Some can not even show the bottoms of their feet due to religious dogma that insists coverings.


How is my requiring skirts to the knees any different?  My father required my sisters to wear shorts over their one piece bathing suits and I once demanded the same.  It seems to me now that if there is risk in wearing revealing clothing, that the source of the risk needs the education.  It seems we need to educate the males in society that no matter the lack of clothing a female wears says nothing about her desires.


I remember my mom after seeing a girl I was walking home with who donned a tube top.  That girl is asking for it.  She is not wholesome and is only wanting to have sex.  Obviously my mother was indoctrinated with the same misogynistic and morally bankrupt ideas.


Girls today are taught the same nonsense.  A girl wearing something revealing is a slut and probably wants to have an orgy.  These ideas come from religion and have even deluded the general social ideas.


Now we must warn our daughters that possibly wearing sexy clothing could incite unsafe conditions for themselves.  This is fucking retarded.  It’s backwards thinking.  We aren’t dealing with meat suits in lion cages.  We are dealing with disrespectful males, human males who’ve been given a pass on restraining themselves from violating another human.


We’ve taught our sons that girls that dress like that are immoral.  They are sluts.  We’ve encouraged an idea that it’s perfectly normal for a male to be stimulated and responsibility only falls on the female to avoid the unwarranted attention by shrouding her in face coverings, tent dresses, loose clothing and coverups.


What the actual fuck is going on?  Well I’ll tell you.  It’s religion!  Every single major religion counts the women among the sheep.  They are not equals, they aren’t even human.  They are slaves to male misogynistic laws and edicts.


The Torah and the Bible condone these ideas.  It condones rape and holds a women’s loss of virginity as a crime punishable by death.  Although societies morals have superseded that of the bible, our religious parents raise girls to believe that showing this or that is immoral and that they are sluts and whores if they don’t abide.


Even our public schools have been influenced by the religious ideas on sex.  This year news broke of students being sent home for wearing shorts that didn’t come past the fingertips.  The administration defended it’s position with, “Boys can’t concentrate if girls wear clothing like that.”


This was no isolated incident.  Today every public school has a modesty clause or dress code that is biased against the females.  And if you ask the administration, they all will defend it with, It’s a distraction.  Why the fuck is it a distraction?


Well it’s a distraction because religious parents of males are not demanding their children have respect for all, instead they do as my mom did.  They teach them that girls who are sexy or appealing are immoral.


It’s a cycle of ignorance at the hands of the religious.  In a moral society, let me change that, in an ethical society, a female should be able to safely walk down the street nude if she wanted without the fear of intimidation, cat calls and threats.  Shouldn’t males be held to the same standard of ethics?


Religions fathers were sinisterly brilliant.  They took something innate, something completely normal and called it sin.  They then provided a repentance process that guaranteed the church continued business.


Some religions have gone further, they have made it immoral to turn on a switch on the sabbath, to walk alone as a female, to eat certain foods and even to the extreme of making certain thoughts a crime.


Religion has infected humanity with a virus that instills virtue in nothing.  It could of been bending your elbow in public.


Yes, bending your elbow is fine in the privacy of your home, but in public, ohhhh that is so immoral.  God doesn’t like that.


Well I have to bend my elbows in public.  I work at UPS and other workers will see me as I lift and load boxes.  Yes, we know, no one can be perfect like WoogeyBoogeyBoo was, but fortunately if you sin, you can pay penance here.  You can be forgiven and the lord will love you again.


Yes, but I plan to work at UPS for years and I’m certain I can’t hide my elbow bends from everyone.


Yes, we know.  But WoogeyBoogeyBoo loves you and would rather you find a job where you aren’t required to bend your elbows in public.  Maybe you could pray to him and he could help you find another job.


But I can’t even go grocery shopping without bending my elbows.  Why did WoogeyBoogeyBoo give me elbows if I wasn’t to use them.


Oh, well that’s simple.  The lord God woogeyboogeyboo gave you elbows to use in the privacy of your own home with reverence and respect.  He knew you’d want to bend them but he certainly doesn’t want you to bend them in public.


But fear not.  If you must bend them in public, please come see us and with your tithes and repentance –  you can be forgiven.


Eventually the school systems have codes of conduct to prevent distraction, they forbid bending of elbows while at school.  The government makes laws and rules as if these moral codes and edicts actually have value and eventually society, even the non religious think it’s valid.


Life vests promote drowning, fire extinguishers and alarms promote arson and so we certainly can’t teach young men to respect women regardless of what they wear.


It’s insanity.  I’ve asked others before.  What reason do you have against women wearing revealing clothing.  If it is immoral, then Why?  How so?  Ultimately you will get a response that they don’t want others to harass, harm or violate the girls.  Well great, but shouldn’t that responsibility lie solely on the ones doing the harm and violations?


The Jewish laws found mainly in the Torah forbid you from carrying your keys, medicine or even kleenex outside of your home on the Sabbath.  And I can understand, this could ruin society and it’s simply immoral.


But fear not, the devil is with them.  The Jews have figured out how to bend at the elbow in public..  They erect a line or wire that surrounds their village or even their neighborhoods in the U.S.  Thereby creating a larger home so to speak.  So instead of their home being what a home is, the four walls and door in which you reside, it is now the entire neighborhood.  It’s called an Eruv.


Now the immoral act of walking outside and blowing your nose on the sabbath is completely moral and because God is suck a fuckwit, he doesn’t even realize the trick they just played on him.


I’ve said all this to say this.  My daughter should not fear retaliation, should not be made into a public whore or immoral trollop because she wears a belly shirt or short shorts.  It is you, YOU religious fucktards who should teach your boys and your men to control themselves.  Responsibility lies solely on your shoulders.  I will not bend or break the rights of others to preserve and protect your immoral, unethical and misogynistic idealogies.


In short, you can fuck off!  Your religion is responsible for this madness.  It starts with you, it starts with you looking beyond the prohibition against and determining why. You can pretend your edicts hold valid cause but they do not and we will call you out on each occasion.


You can not defend your position unless you can defend covering your daughters from head to toe like the muslims require.  You can not defend your position unless you abide by all the laws and edicts found in your holy books.


I’ve had enough of your cherry picking christian conservative ignorance.  You are harming my family and the world’s humanity.  Fuck you and fuck your fake ass, cherry picked bronze aged morals.


May God B less.

061 ExChristian Confessions Matthew O’Neil God Particle

060 – Atheism Is – Atheists Are

Become a master, last week we learned about atoms and this week we learned about Quantum stuffs.  So next time you sit down with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Lawrence Krauss or any of the other brainiacs, you’ll feel right at home.  Thanks to Professor Stephen we are getting what our Science Teachers thought we were.

Other Stuff

We learned another fallacy, another cognitive bias and we forged on with callers, Pastor Roy and Catfish Creek Trailer Park and the entire time we were graced with the beautiful bald man, David Michael from the My Book Of Mormon Podcast.

Shujin Tribble joined us too!  Little Tribble is having a birthday soon and we even sang her a song.  Thanks to generous donors over at we were able to sponsor 5 more people and one of those being a family.

The show was interrupted with a bad internet connection and we lost the feed, but fear not.  Clicking play above will allow you to hear the entire show with no interruptions, even the 22 minutes we ran over and heard from several AOA callers to our voicemail line.  You can leave a message too: 828.565.1262

Rant Script

Atheism ain’t an ism!  To be an atheist only requires disbelief in invisible, immoral and narcissistic sky daddies – in other words: A God.  We don’t believe in a god.  That’s it.  We are not a religion, just like the fans of your high school football team aren’t a religion.  Religion is by definition a set of beliefs which include a superhuman, supernatural and invisible sky daddy, in other words: A set of beliefs concerning a god.

Atheism is a religion like off is a tv chanel, like abstinence is a sex position, like bald is a hair color and like not collecting stamps is a hobby.  Atheism doesn’t make a statement of fact, it doesn’t say, there is no god or gods.  It simply denotes disbelief.  I don’t believe in a god, therefore I’m an atheist by definition.

Gnosticism deals with knowledge and yes, I’m a agnostic atheist.  Which means I don’t have any knowledge or proofs for a god, hence agnostic ( I do not know) and atheism, I don’t believe.  Agnostic atheist equals someone who doesn’t know and doesn’t believe in a god or gods.


Simple really.

And you ask why atheists seem so much alike, as in most of us our humanists and liberals?  Well that’s very simple.  Once you discard the ignorant and unsubstantiated claims, edicts, morals and rules religion imposes on your mind, you find that your priorities change.  We love more, we respect life more, we seek peace more, we know that there exists not one shred of evidence that anything exists for us personally after death and so we choose to take advantage and enjoy this one life, this one opportunity to enjoy the company of others, to help others, to secure the future of humanity and to experience anything we want that doesn’t harm another.  No conscience which screams out when we drink, when we masturbate, when we take on multiple sex partners or when we spend the day without reverence for imaginary beings.  Yes, we have many of the same ideas about equality, humanity, life, death and certainly we all agree that we don’t believe in a god, but we aren’t really a team.  To me, that is unfortunate, but there are conservative atheists who believe in aliens and I’d sooner not be in that group.  However, the majority and especially those who came from within the rancid belly of religious upbringings, we almost always agree and stand together and fight against the harmful religious dogma that exists.


Many of us our mad and it’s evidenced in our rants and in our attitude towards the continual indoctrination of future generations through blatant violations and ignorance towards the great wall of separation, towards the sciences and to those born to equally ignorant parents who happen to worship a different god than you.

We can’t leave it alone, we can’t just ignore it, we’ve seen what results when religion rules the earth – the dark ages provide all the proof one needs.


But we have more.  We have states which are teeming with the willfully ignorant, superstitious and zealous.  These states proudly ignore federal laws of separation, they often are led by equally ignorant religious bigots and the results are horrid.


These states, these bible belt states, where the majority are fervent christians, adhering to bronze aged morals and misogynistic ideologies, these states enjoy the highest per capita ratios of teen pregnancy, child abuse, spouse abuse, incarcerations and high school drop outs.  The effects of which produce the highest number of welfare recipients across the nation.


You’d expect to see just the opposite wouldn’t you?  Shouldn’t the most faithfully religious cities, towns, counties and states –  stand out for being the opposite of all those I mentioned?


Your delusional ideas of afterlives with golden streets and cherubs hinder progress.  It’s your team of religious nutters who fight against the sciences that allow you to live longer, to drive faster and eat better.  It’s your crowd of sheep who fight against progress at every turn.

Christians scream as if they are being persecuted because now, many are stepping forward to stop your illegal encroachments, your unfair tax breaks, your demonizing of the sciences, your distortion of education and your constant proselytizing.  It’s a new day, with the proliferation of knowledge has come social media, wikipedia, online dictionaries, educational programming and much more.  These wonderful inventions have made it possible that the firmly indoctrinated teens will be exposed to the contrary.  They, from their smart phones and tablets will be exposed, they will be introduced to facts, logic and reason.

As the years go by, more and more will find truth and will discard their childhood beliefs and as we are seeing now, change will come.  It will come in the shape of groups like the American Atheists, groups like the Freedom From Religion Foundation and the Secular Student Alliance, these groups who fight against the violations, the inequality and the abuse by religion.  The member rolls will grow and the voices and support of many will fund the legal battles to stop it all.  To rid our money from in god we trust, this motto of the united states, a modern addition from 1956 and a very illegal one will eventually be removed.


Eventually teachers will be able to teach about evolution without the fear of angry parents launching attacks and teachers will be able to exclude those hypothesis and theories that are absent evidence.  In the US, there are hundreds upon hundreds of public school teachers forced to teach about creationism.  This fairytale of how things got started that has absolutely no evidence for it’s claims is taught with our tax dollars to young impressionable minds and it’s absolutely 100% bullshit!


In our public schools we have teachers who can’t teach proper sex education and instead must preach abstinence.  Meanwhile these schools, these public schools enjoy the highest teen pregnancy rates and the highest STD rates in the nation.

Yet, the preachers and pastors will ignore the facts and continue to support the ignorance that is written inside their holy books.


Religion does harm, it harms children each and every day.  Teaching a child about heaven and hell and the immoral edicts of your imaginary sky daddy – Is evil, it’s child abuse and it should be made a crime.


I’m all for allowing anyone one to believe anything they want, worship zeus, thor, Jesus, muhammad or a tomato – I couldn’t give two shits less.  But these inhumane, these misogynistic, these racist and bigoted beliefs are enforced, encouraged or begin to be accepted by society, I draw the line.  Standing proudly on the shoulders of our founding fathers and stepping atop the great wall of separation between church and state, I’ll scream, I’ll sue and I’ll call you out for each and every single incursion or attempt made.

This is when your religious teachings encourage actions that violate another – they should be stopped.  It’s when you can’t be satisfied enough by deluding your own children and you attempt it on mine.  Hell, you shouldn’t be able to promote hate and intolerance with your own children.  When your teaching a child, whether yours or not that homosexuality is bad, that premarital sex is a sin, that a devil exists and can get them, you are committing child abuse and that shouldn’t be allowed… period.


Have you ever considered your beliefs at all?  What religion was your parents or their parents?  What religion is most abundant in the city or town in which you live?  There is a over a 90% chance that – that is your religion too.


Ever consider what religion you’d be if born in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia?  Why is it that most every single Pakistany is Muslim?  They have the spiritual experiences that solidified the indoctrinations they received as children, just as you do.  Almost 2 Billion of them, all have some personal story or feeling that they can’t deny about Muhammad.  The Hindus, they do too.  But actually those experiences and feelings, they are just life, but if your life was like mine, they served as confirmation of my beliefs all the while I ignored anything to the contrary.  Those unanswered prayers that were far more common, those atrocities committed on innocence and the facts when they opposed my beliefs, all those, simply relegated to the back of my mind, dismissed and ignored forever.


No one has come back from death and shown proof of anything.  Near Death Experiences can be duplicated with magnets near the brain.  They are in fact only a product of a dying brain.

How is it that when Hindu sees a loved one who’s passed, it’s often in form of a cow, how come Muslims see Muhammad, how come is it, that you know with such conviction that all other religions are false but accept the evidence-free religion you’ve chosen.


And if you think your morals come from the bible, then why would you pick up a dying child and seek help while your god will let it be.  20,000 children die daily from starvation and your god does nothing.

You and I would stop a murdering rapist from harming a child, even sacrificing our own lives, but if not seen by a man’s eyes, your God, he will do nothing and that child will be harmed.

You mean to tell me that without the Bible you would steal, kill, rape and harm?  Or could that be the well formed ideas you were indoctrinated with.


Your bible makes it very clear that we can own slaves, in fact your Jesus tells slaves to suffer the good and bad masters and to obey.  10 commandments and he didn’t have room for the abolishment of the cruel and evil slavery?


Would you own another human?  Why not?  Your God is perfectly fine with it.  Especially if they are from another region or tribe.


What about rape?  Would that be ok in your book?  Well it is!  Your bible and it’s God condones rape and even offers specific instruction on how to get it done and who to pay.


But somehow, unless you are mentally impaired or a sociopath, you wouldn’t rape, you wouldn’t own another human, you wouldn’t sell your daughter into slavery and you wouldn’t offer her as a sacrifice.  You probably wouldn’t kill an unbeliever either but your bible and yes, even your new jesus loves you most testament condones and even orders much of this.  In fact Jesus commanded you to abide and obey every single one of the 613 old testament laws.  He goes further to tell you if you find a non believer such as myself, you are to kill me.

Yet, here I am.  Your morals are innate and most certainly don’t derive from the Bible.


Here’s what you can do.  You can stop bitching and moaning as we take back our governments and return them to their secular nature, as we undo the inequality in our laws and morals, as we restore and encourage equality for all women, children and yes, even the brown ones, you can just sit back, pout all the way to church and all the way to home again, you can pray to magic JUJU or magic beans, to Jesus or Thor to stop our actions, you can complain to the other sheep, you can call it unfair, you can be the little bitches that you are and you can call it all evil, but don’t you dare think you are getting another inch of our rights and our space.  Don’t think just because you can rally the equally ignorant to cry with you that it will make one goddamn difference.  We are here and there are many more on the way. Not even once more will we stand by as you usurp our rights and our freedoms.


Fortunately for you, we don’t wan’t reparations or apologies, fortunately for you, we don’t even want revenge.  We simply want equal rights, we want your insane, bronzed aged, sheep fucking, goat herding, semiliterate, immoral, misogynistic, homophobic and racist beliefs out of our lives and off our fucking government.


And what you’ll find; your life and your worshipping invisible and imaginary beings will be ok with us.  We won’t ever attempt to reduce your rights.  You’ll find that we will carry on enjoying our lives and watching humanities achievements.  The fight will be over.  All over.  You’ll have your religion, you’ll have your rights, but you won’t ever again take ours.  Never again will your religious bullshit infect the disease of ignorance on society.  Children will be free to think, learn and reason outside your home and your control ——and all of humanity will prosper for it.  Women will be able to express themselves any way they choose, there will be no more glass ceilings, no more unequal pay and no more your meddling in their bodies.  Brown people, black people and the blue ones too will share equally in the available knowledge and opportunity  — for in the public sphere, there will be no more proud rantings from your insane crowd.  No longer will you demand, no longer will you enforce your morals and ideologies and your beliefs on another.  Babies will suffer no more medically unnecessary genital mutilations and no more holy men sucking on their penises.


It’s over.  Fuck you it’s over.  The writings on the wall, your jesus failed you, he doesn’t exist, didn’t exist and his fucking morals suck ass anyway.  From the bottom of my heart, fuck you, fuck your Sarah Palins, your Jimmy Swagarts, Your  Billy Grahams, your Ken Copelands and Joyce Meyers’s.  Fuck you all and good riddance.  While you’re rotting in a grave one day, while your atoms return to the universe, your children, your grandchildren and your great grand children will know and they will enjoy this one life.  Because right now we’ve taken a stand, and fuck you – if you don’t like it or like us.  Humanity will thank us later.

057 – Mormons Morality And Miracle Confirmations

You’re probably wondering what appliance you buy for your home so that you can breath pure unadulterated ozone.  Find out why ionizing air purifiers will fuck you up.  Have you not joined yet?  What the hell?!  Thanks to some fantastic listeners and friends of the show, we have more free FFRF memberships to offer those who can’t afford one at this time.

A NoMo On ExMos

Podcast host and resident of Catfish Creek Trailer Park, David Michael joined us live.  The “MyBookOfMormonPodcast” is your guide to all that is the Mormon church.  David, a non-Mormon (NoMo) decided to read the Book of Mormon and find out exactly what those Mormon’s are so proud of.

David offers some tips on making Christians feel like dumbasses without one mean or antagonistic word.  It will be my new approach from now one and I can’t wait to try it.

Also because he’s one of those evil Atheists, he’s helping raise funds for those needing counseling in their transition out of Mormonism.


Our Newest Patrons!

I must thank all our Patrons who support the show with your hard earned dollars.  Thank you!  This week we were blessed with a few new ones:

  • George Greene
  • George Romaka
  • Kathi Shepherd
  • Alan Firth
  • Clair Brake
  • Kevin Korb
  • Kerryn Armstrong

May your orgasm cup runneth over.

Professor Stephen

Woo Woo – Professor Stephen

Probably the most scary of all Woo Woo Snake Oil Science Segments to date.  Professor Stephen tells us just how to destroy your lungs with air purifiers.  Say No To Ozone!


Dolphin Sex!

Dolphin Sex Expert, Dave Foda joined us live for a lively discussion or morals.  Unfortunately we ran out of time but we have plans to beg him back on for more.  This morality stuff is fascinating and it’s almost like wrapping your head around quantum theory.

Listener Voicemails

We didn’t forget them, we simply ran out of time.  Next week though, I promise.  The voicemails from 828.565.1262 were in queued up to play, but with 3 interruptions from Pastor Roy, our special guests and wonderful callers, we just didn’t have the time.


Pastor Roy Prayer Line

Pastor Roy investigates the “happy endings” at Diamond’s massage business.  Rupert shares a public safety announcement on M-80s and their use in fishing and Pastor Roy offers answers and healing to some Catfish Creek Trailer Park residents who called in with questions.

You can now leave a message for Pastor Roy at 828.565.1262 and he might just tell you the message Jesus has for you.

Thanks to Doc. Nicholas and…

all the others who called in during the show.  It’s fantastic to hear from real people instead of these one-off conversations with the voices in my head.  We are live each Monday night at 7PM EST and you can join us next week.  Get more info at

It Ain’t Over – FFRF

Two weeks ago on the show we decided to give away some memberships.  Last week we went crazy with an offer for 20 new members and this was matched by listener and friend of the show, Konrad Michels. The next day, several others asked how they could help and so I set up a GoFundMe page just for FFRF sponsorships.   (Get your FFRF membership)

If you aren’t familiar with the FFRF (Freedom From Religion Foundation) they are the best hope we have at righting the Religious Right’s wrongs.  You can learn more here: or you can just get the shorter version here:

If You’re So Sure About It All…

then why the fuck must you scour the mundane for something to claim?  Every chance the Christian gets to claim a miracle, they do.  Yet they are always the most mundane and simplistic.  Keys, a job, a term paper – those aren’t miracles asshole!

This week I rant a bit on this whole miracle bullshit and why I think Christians must claim everything only because they really and truly don’t find the evidence satisfying.

Watch The Replay


Claim those miracles, no matter how small.  I remember my pastor and friend saying this and I’ve heard it countless times throughout my life.  “Get Up, Claim That Miracle, you want to be healed, you want to be well, you want more money, no matter what you want, claim it in Jesus’s Name!”


And when it fails… oh and it does fail… in fact it fails almost 100 percent of the time, but when it does, just know, you didn’t do something right – or maybe you weren’t ready or maybe god has a different plan for you.  When the super powerful deity resides only within your head, any excuse for failure can be reasoned away.


There are no missed blessings or unanswered prayers that can’t be excused because your God has a plan.


Imagine getting up each day, seeing the sun rise and picking up the phone, calling everyone, logging onto facebook and exclaiming, Look look, I had the faith and science answered, cosmologists are right, it did come up, the sun is overhead now!  Hallelujah!  Each day repeating the same, each day claiming that miracle of seeing the sun.


Feel the warmth, goddamn those physicists, right again.  I feel the warmth right now.  A miracle!  They explained the heat process and holy shit, they nailed it.  I can’t wait for tomorrow to check again.


We don’t claim these things.  We don’t need to.  We enjoy living in rooms without padded walls.  We enjoy our freedoms to come and go without being heavily medicated and having security accompaniment.  We don’t need confirmation for the things we KNOW exist, we don’t need confirmation for the things we know will happen.


If God is real and god is watching over you, Then why do you need to claim the miracles?

Why must you scour the mundane for something to claim?

Jesus helped me find my keys, Jesus helped me pass the test, Jesus sent you to me, Jesus got me home safely, jesus prevented our death during the tornado, jesus led the rescuers to our car, jesus saved the drowning baby, jesus reminded me to turn off the stove, jesus stopped my migraine, jesus helped me fix my hair, jesus kept our car from running out of gas, jesus made me late and I wasn’t in that horrible school bus accident.


Visit any southern church and it may apply to the northern churches too, but I know that any southern church will not pass up an opportunity to claim something thought divine.


Brothers and Sisters, God was there for Thelma this week.  She was on the way to the doctors office, an appointment she’s had for over 2 months now.  Sister Thelma is on cummadin to help thin her blood due to the arteriorschlerosis and her bad heart and those mini strokes.  Missing this appointment could be life or death for her.


Well she left in plenty of time but traffic was horrible.  As she sat at the red light, she knew that if she caught one more red light she would be too late and miss her appointment.  She said a little prayer, she asked Jesus to help her make it in time.  As soon as she said Amen, the light turned green and as she drove she kept thanking Jesus repeatedly for getting her there on time.  Each light she came to, turned green, almost instantaneously.  Not once did she have to come to a complete stop.  Jesus answered her prayers and although she was a few minutes late, the doctor hadn’t left and was able to see her and renew her medications.


Now imagine a doctor and each time seeing a patient with an infection, proclaiming, see right there, germ theory.  It’s true!  Seeing you sick just confirms Louis Pasteur’s great works.  Not just once, but every time this doctor seemingly amazed that Holy Shit, you have an infection, Goddamn that Louis Pasteur, was right.


But you won’t find a sane doctor making such proclamations at each sight of sickness.  Because doctors know what germ theory is, it doesn’t surprise them, it doesn’t bolster their faith in Germ Theory each time.  It’s a given, they know it, they understand it and they find no need in acting surprised and excited each time it manifests.


Yet you Christians, you religious nutters will take any randomness of chance and pervert it into a miracle.  Not only a miracle, but see, there ya go, proof, my god exists.  If you truly believed and actually knew it to be true, would there be reason for proclamations and joyous retellings?  Who are you attempting to convince?  I would say yourself.  I would say your reason and logic recognize the missed miracles, the opportunities for God to do the impossible and so you must attribute, proclaim and share the mundane chance happenings of your God.  It’s certainly not a sign of faith, but just the opposite, it demonstrates your lack of faith, it demonstrates that inside that monkey brain of yours there lies a hint of reason and logic.


Stories of miracles like Sister Thelma’s can be heard in churches every Sunday.  But let me ask you, If Jesus is a miracle worker, why is Thelma sick, why the need for medications, why the need for science’s doctors?  If Jesus wished to impress and bolster your faith for longer than a second, why not heal Sister Thelma, why allow the sickness and disease in the first place?  Jesus could have avoided the green lights all together.


And why would Sister Thelma even need to pray, doesn’t Jesus know it all, he knows when the sparrow falls, each hair is numbered atop your head and he knows when you masturbate, what’s the point of requiring prayer before action?


I’m a father to 9 children.  Imagine my children come to the fridge to find it empty, the pantry the same.  They say Dad, where’s all the food?  Oh, I know you better than you know yourself, I know you’ll be hungry each day, but none of you came to me and asked for food.  I would really prefer and appreciate you asking in faith that I’ll deliver on my promise to provide, sometimes.


What father, what mother, what sane human would require such after proclaiming to care, to know and having accepted the responsibility?


Yet your God, says he cares, he knows your needs, he goes further by telling you to think not for tomorrow for he will provide.  Yet each of you feel the need to pray incessantly, to thank continually and to share with others in the event, by random chance your need is fulfilled, regardless the fact you did it for yourself.  Why not instead pray to Murphy, for it is his law that provides you with the probabilities of chance?


Imagine each day I take my cast net to the lakeshore to the one spot free from trees and bushes so that I can cast it perfectly.  Each day I cast and each day I catch nothing.  Then one day, I catch 2 little fish and I exclaim –  Thank you Jesus, look at that, it’s a miracle.  Jesus helped me catch some fish.  You could attribute that instead to chance or even to Satan, but you’ll instead remain blissfully deluded and give thanks for nothing, give thanks for the mundane.


If you really believed, if you really knew it all to be true, then why not do as Jesus commanded, fret not for tomorrow, no savings, no bank account, no worry for paying the bills, buying food or filling your tank with gas, God will provide?


Because you don’t really believe that horseshit.  And it’s why you must scan and comb the vastness of happenstance searching anything regardless of how completely jejune to revive your faith, to rejuvenate your beliefs and to promulgate the ideological insanity.


Nowhere else will you find the real and demonstrable being praised and shared each time it’s laws manifest.  Only the trite miracles of imaginary and invisible sky daddies require such efforts.


Recently a little girl fell into a pool in TN.  She was found by her parents, unconscious and not breathing.  CPR was administered and after days on life support she regained consciousness.  At three years old this little child tells her mom she saw a bright light and even saw Jesus walking towards her.


Her mom retells the story for the media and adds:  “…and she’s never heard of a bright light story before.”


As if the miracle of seeing Jesus wasn’t enough, she hadn’t ever been exposed to a bright light story and this confirms that there is a heaven and Jesus is waiting there.  Sorry Muslims, it was Jesus and not Muhammad.  If all Christians believed wholeheartedly this Jesus, heaven, afterlife shit, would there ever be any need to share such trite occurrences?  Wouldn’t it just be considered speaking the obvious, like the doctor who gets excited each time he finds germs have sickened another patient?


Holy shit, I turned the key and the motor started.  Turn off the radio kids, listen to that purr, the motors running, that whole combustion engine thing is for real.  We will try it again on the way home.  Fingers crossed everyone.  Fingers crossed.


The laws of probability, chance and randomness befall us all, some give thanks to Satan, others to Muhammad, others to Vishnu and some to Christ.  But we thinkers, we without a fragile faith at risk – understand, we recognize the probabilities and we accept it for what it is.


But you Christians, you’ll promote the ignorant superstitions, you’ll indoctrinate others, you’ll promulgate the insanity with miraculous explanations of the mundane.  Possibly unknowingly and unaware you hurt others with your miracle claims and propaganda.


When those prayers go unanswered or a miracle missed, the faithful bow inside feeling unworthy, unloved and ignored.  They must exercise extreme cognitive dissonance in order to remain hopeful.  The preachers and pastors will tell them that they didn’t hold out long enough, that their faith wasn’t strong enough or that God has another plan.


It’s a win win for those whose livelihoods are kept by those most ignorant.  They want you to claim each and every sunrise, claim the purr of each piston stroke or keys found.  It’s the only way they can provide you miracles as promised, it’s the only way you’ll continue in belief and feeding their insatiable appetites for riches and wealth.


And  now you know.  No longer can you be excused when you encourage others with your nonexistent miracles.  Your beliefs are harmful and your preachers evil.  Fuck your nonsense, fuck your miracles, fuck your God and fuck you!  In jesus name I pray, amen.

057 – Mormons Morality And Miracle Confirmations