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Death eluded us all night. The scheduled topic was “death” but being such a short show, we were unable to fit it in this week. Fortunately though – it got bumped by our incredible callers, our newest host (Rachel Nanon Brown) and a lively discussion about Chiropractic medicine woo woo. All in all, it’s jam packed and may take you a day or two to get through it all.
Rachel Joins Atheists On Air
Can I get a woot woot? Talk about feeling unarmed and outnumbered, with the addition of Rachel Nanon Brown along with Professor Stephen, this poorly educated Hillbilly is feeling overwhelmed – in a good way though! You know Rachel from Dogma Debate where she co-hosted along side of David Smalley for years. Rachel is addicted to that shit they call science and she’s well versed in the theory of evolution. (Its just a theory though.)
So much about everything in life can be explained by the evolutionary processes. If you think you didn’t have plenty to learn already, Atheists On Air proudly welcomes Rachel to the team. Be sure to say hi by visiting her Facebook page and leaving a comment.
Death Will Try Again
On our next show, I promise (pinky promise) to discuss Atheists and the Afterlife including the pains of dealing with death.
Chiropractic Medicine Woo
Professor Stephen tackled the 95% snake oil woo woo science known as Chiropractic medicine. In this segment, Professor Stephen compared chiropractic stuffs with massage therapy and real medicine like physical therapy. Follow the twists and turns in this special segment and learn all you ever need to know about the almost as good as a massage practice called Chiropracty. (real urban dictionary word)
Holiday Gatherings Offer Propaganda Opportunities
Rachel found a sciencey looking magazine during a holiday gathering. Apparently placed specifically so that she would find, read and be converted to creationism. The articles unfolded the “worst” arguments against evolution that she’s ever seen. Rachel takes us through their dishonest articles and their supposed studies referenced.
You know you’re fucked when you must appeal to authority but must bastardize what the authorities said in order to make your case.
Be sure to take your Ginko before hearing this takedown by Rachel. You’ll want to remember it for future rebuttals.
I called out some very special fans who’ve taken us over the 100 supporter mark at Patreon.com/atheists. Thanks to you for parting with your hard earned dollars and supporting the show. We know there are a million places that you could lend a hand and have chosen to help us continue our quest to save the fucking world.
We are only about 30 people away from reaching our goal and going weekly with the show (assuming a $10 pledge) but realistically if about 300 out of our thousands of fans could support us with a dollar, we’d hit that goal and be able to maintain a regular weekly show.
SPECIAL LETTERS: I’d be checking my mail if I were you. Many of our biggest fans and supporters will be receiving a special envelope in the mail this week. Custom artwork on the outside by non other than – me. It’s just our way of saying thank you and spreading some love back at ya!
We were graced by some awesome people via the phone lines. A special thanks Stephanie Jones for once again getting them answered and ready to go live. Thank you for calling in.
Emails We Missed
There is one thing we are all going to do. Every single one of us, from the most paranoid whole foods schizophrenic anti-gmo aluminum foil headdress wearing fucktards to the normal run of the mill, overweight and chain smoking bald podcasters – We are all going to die.
Yup, sorry for the spoiler – but your death is inevitable and for some it’s so becoming. Of course if you are in the right religion, the true religion and have abided by it’s terms and conditions and fine print then press hard, 3 copies please – then you are off to a new life. Your body restored, except your asshole and snot glands omitted because perfection can not include those and the 1000’s of other human traits that plague a truly happy existence.
Now here is where it gets fucking good, I mean literally fucking awesome! You are going to experience some bright light and some shadowy figures resembling long lost loved ones who happened to have chosen the same religion as yourselves.
You are going to know unfathomable joy. – I really can’t do this justice but it’s better than your best orgasm and it’s going to last forever. Yes, I know, this Jesus man must modify you a bit to be able to endure the never-ending joy that awaits you. This is a minor change but will allow you to feel all warm and tingly without it becoming painful and intolerable like it does when I continue to suck your clit after you have experienced that one final grand finale orgasm.
Stay with me, it’s gets more ambiguous as we go. You are going to get to worship and praise the one true God forever, fly around and just do shit. Not hard shit, but fun shit. We and our little teeny tiny brains can’t fathom it or even understand it so just take my word for it, you are going to have fun, fun fun. Singing too.
This is your promise! You’re probably already wanting to sign up, but wait, —— there’s more – it’s the bonus of eternity.
Those pesky atheists, those fake Christians, those muslims, jews and Hindus – you get to watch them be cast into a lake of fire. A fire that doesn’t kill but tortures their heathen bodies forever! YES! Finally, you’ve been vindicated – you’ve given up masturbation, except when you didn’t, you’ve avoided lusting after others, except when you didn’t, you’ve worn tshirts and tie clips with a cross and that one time you had a debate with a dick of an atheist on Facebook and you defended your lord and master, the king supreme invisible leader and ruler of the universe – you can watch him suffer – you now can watch that little asshole of a child you raised in the church who became a heathen scientist and deny young earth creation you know to be a fact because the Bible says so – you can watch him scream and beg as the demons torture him eternally, you get to watch for eternity the pain and agony of all those children who died before hearing about the one true god and instead worshipped like you, the one their parents and society worshipped. And that niece of yours, the one who was just a little whore, the one who had sex with others and then that time she had an abortion, well she’s getting hers – don’t you worry.
You get to watch as Billions gnash their teeth and claw in attempts to escape the undying worm of eternal torture. 2 million years from now, you’ve perfected that song and praise to Jesus, you’ve ridden on every cloud, explored the universe, you can still always have a seat from on high and watch as billions suffer. Halefuckinglooya!
That’s just one bonus, there will be endless supplies of Milk and Honey, golden streets and of course you’ll have a palace, probably just down the street from Jesus’s very own pad.
Imagine how much fun, not 2 million years from now, but 10 billion years from now and you won’t have even really scratched the surface of eternity – You can praise jesus daily, bow and prostrate yourself before him and then fly around, zoom from galaxy to galaxy and although you’ve been doing the same thing over and over and over for eons, you’ll have forever and then some. It never ends.
This may sound boring, but Jesus will alter the you that is you so that it never becomes old, it will be the quentisential ground hog day over and over and over. Yaaaaaay You!
And after billions and billions of millennia’s have passed, you can still stop and enjoy the screams and agonies of those ignorant fools who weren’t lucky enough to be born in the USA where most everyone worships the one and true God.
I wish I could share with you more. I know many have crossed over and returned but even they at best can only provide details of things that we already relate to. There is no new information, no new something that can and will inspire you to hold fast – it’s blurry rainbows, lush fields, lot’s of fluffy clouds and waterfalls. It’s your true christian ancestors and that creepy touchy feely uncle who repented for his sins. You get all that and be with them forever!
You’d think the purveyor of near death experiences would provide information that none of us can relate to, we can’t understand it or that it’s completely and utterly foreign in human knowledge.
But don’t let this cause a lack of faith. The Mormons, although probably going the way of the heathens what with their change from Gods commands by allowing black people to be temple married and giving up on the multiple wives and multiple husbands – do however have an answer to the NDE problem. Near death experience tellers aren’t allowed to share the truth of what they see. According to once Prophet and personal friend of Jesus: Joseph Smith, if we could get a glimpse of heaven, we’d kill ourselves to get in. Spencer W. Kimball, another prophet who actually visited heaven said, I’ve seen many glimpses of heaven and you can’t even imagine.
The Bible says you get to go to heaven and the bible was written by and directed by God and it says so right there in the bible. Add that to the Near Death Experience tellers and your own experiences with orbs and ghosts, tingly feelings, bright lights and vivid dreams and there is no longer evidence required.
So here’s the deal, there are over 31,000 sects of christianity in the world today and among those their individuals don’t agree on everything. There are hundreds of other gods currently being worshipped and it’s all contrived by so called holy books and holier men.
There are some facts though. You are going to die and as far as anyone knows, this is the one and only life you’ll ever know. There is zero and by zero I mean absofuckinglootley no evidence, not one shred of evidence for an afterlife, for your god or for any thing beyond your dead body.
As Christopher Hitchen’s said, the party doesn’t end, but you don’t get to stay.
You get this one life, you get this one moment, you can actually help humanity, you can actually leave a legacy, a ripple so to speak that will touch countless others in the centuries to come by speaking only of what we know and basing your decisions and actions on helping others Or
you can spend it in hopes for the next while deluding those in your power to delude with the same by spreading nonsense, hiding from logic and reason, judging others and encouraging the ignorance that has faithfully brought you to this point.
If you chose the latter, then fuck you. Fuck you for those who’s lives you’ve manipulated and harmed with your ignorant and judgmental dogmas. Fuck you for causing countless to miss out on this life and the joy of the here and now. Fuck you for inflicting this disease on humanity that is the source for false hope and missed opportunities.
Fuck you for those who felt guilt when they masturbated, for those who go without sex altogether for the false reward in heaven, fuck you for relegating the pain and suffering experienced now by those starving and dying – to an imaginary life of peace and fullness later.
If the only harm done by the religious was to promote a claim of an afterlife, it should be enough to be indicted for crimes on humanity. False hope gives rise to false ideas and false ideas give rise to harm. Fuck you & fuck you!