CVS Pushes The Snake Oil
On the Atheists On Air Facebook page the comments have provoked a shit-storm. Surprisingly there are Atheists aka freethinkers who haven’t applied skepticism, logic, reason nor science to some of their beliefs.
There is a misunderstanding between homeopathic medicines and natural medicines. There is also, the “who does it hurt” bullshit.
If you are one of these who have a defense for homeopathic medicines, please first review:
…before even reading this article – as it will only serve to piss you the fuck off causing you to launch an ignorant defense of the demonstrably indefensible.
My previous post today is evident of my angst with CVS. I’m sure the others, Walmart, Walgreens and Rite-Aid are doing the same but I know first hand that CVS is peddling the woo as if it was real medicine with real value and real results. CVS Homeopathy is less painful than bloodletting but equally effective.
40 Doses of Water for only $12.79
A whopping 6.75 ounces of water. And best of all… “it works naturally with your body” – as water often does. No matter your cough dry or wet, this concoction includes remedies for all those pesky symptoms your child may experience. And if it doesn’t work, you can always try bloodletting.
Or you could pray over an 8oz. glass of water for about .01 percent of the cost. It’s magic – who ya gonna trust, Jesus or CVS?
Oh look! It’s the Multi-Symptom Formula… It contains just enough of nothing to fake treat all those pesky symptoms.
With the addition of real honey, they have created the ultimate cure all – sugar water for only $1.80 an ounce. It’s a wonder they can stay in business with deals as good as this.
CVS Homeopathic Product Ingredients
A quick refresher course: “C” represents hundreds as in 1 part per hundred, but 6C is the same as 12X or 1 part in 1,000,000 (one part in one million).
- Antimonium tartaricum – (Antimony tartrate) – the double salt of potassium. You probably have heard of Ipecac – well it’s used to induce vomiting but deluded to this level is equivalent to pouring one gallon of bourbon into a 1 million gallon swimming pool – drinking it and hoping to get drunk. It is so heavily diluted that it’s rendered completely useless. But just imagine undiluted how effective it would be on your young offspring at loosening mucus. Nothing quite like uncontrolled and violent vomiting.
- Bryonia – (Bryony) – a poisonous plant that is so lethal that the Royal Navy named a couple of war ships after it. From the root of this dangerous vine is a milky white substance. If contacted with the skin often causes immediate blisters. Fortunately for the unsuspecting parents and children, this has been diluted to 3C or 1 part in 100,000 parts. Safe even if it was arsenic diluted to this level. Used to cure leprosy centuries ago, this highly toxic plant extract causes mucous type diarrhea.
- Drosera – (sundews) – a carnivorous plant that’s flowers, stem and about any other part was used in the 12th century to treat coughs. Diluted just enough so you don’t get any, it’s claimed to relieve “barking” coughs.
- Ipecacuanha – (Carapichea ipecacuanha) – Again with the Ipecac – vomit inducing plant extract but diluted to 1 part in 100,000. Just enough so that you don’t get one drop of this shitty stuff.
- Pulsatilla – (pasque flower) – Highly toxic extract used currently to treat the swelling of testicles which is similar to a wet cough – they did say “multi-symptom” on the box. To be double safe though, they have increased the dosage to 6c – 1:1,000,000 – remember the pool and gallon of bourbon? And yes, these Snake Oil peddlers consider the dosage more potent if the substance is diluted even more. So to them, 6 C is twice as potent as 3C.
- Rumex crispus – (oxalic acid) – known to help you if you are short on kidney stones, this plant extract is very toxic and can even damage your urinary tract. Luckily for all of us, it’s super potent at 6C dilution. 1:1,000,000
- Spongia Tosta – (hermaphroditic sponge) Yes! It’s the boiled down juices from a hermaphroditic sea sponge. Sign me the fuck up! These cool sea sponges really do – when told to go fuck themselves. 1 part per 100,000 just to insure you don’t receive even a tiny bit of this sea sponge juice.
- Sticta pulmonaria – (Lichen) (Lungwort) – another extract with absolutely no medicinal value. It’s diluted to 3C or 1:100,000
WARNING! Do not use 1/2 of a lizard tail
That sums up the “active” ingredients. To make your own homeopathic remedy, take 1 part of the plant extract or elixir and add 99 parts milk sugar or starch. Stir for one hour. This would equal 1C. Now to make 2C dilution, take one part of that mixture you just made and add 99 parts starch again. Repeat once more for 3C.
You can also find a dried lizard tail and wear it over your left ear between your ear and your head for 9 days. By the end of the 9th day, remove the dried lizard tail and you should be feeling much better. Do not overdose and use half of a lizard tail, this can be far too potent.
Homeopathy is less painful than bloodletting
Next time you’re at your local CVS pharmacy and snake oil store – check out the homeopathic remedies. Notice how well they are marketed along with real treatments, note how the packaging looks similar to real medicines and grab a box and read the contents.
FYI: 12C or 24X is the same dilution as dropping one pinch of sugar into the north and south Atlantic Oceans. It would be impossible to find even one molecule of that original sugar.
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