Joining us from Catfish Creek Trailer Park, Mr. Bobby Cary co-hosted and all to make us honest. For what is Cash without the Cary? Rupert P. Pusser and Rev. Roy chimed in on the happenings from their neck of the woods. Cary is the host, CEO and HRIC at the ever growing podcast: No Religion Required
Snake Oil Woo Woo
Professor Stephen will help you rid yourselves of the bad electromagnetic waves through the practice known as “Earthing or Grounding”. You don’t want to miss this. It will rid you of cancer and all you need is two bare feet. Find out how you can ground yourself to the earth and avoid the bad atoms.
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Professor Stephen shared how his grandma lived to be 157, died on a motorcycle while giving the guy a blow-job and you can too. Get on your Depends, you’re gonna pee your pants.
- Find out how we got our Constitution, according to Prophet Glenn Beck.
- Proof homosexuality is a choice – identical twins.
- Striper wants her boobs and butt back.
- Standardized testing will turn your kids gay.
- God exists! Prophet Beck has proof.
- Oh, there’s more…
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050 – Earthing Rids The Toxins – Prayer Works – God Says – Yes, No or Later – show notes
I was watching video from Operation American Spring and I threw up a little bit. There were 10’s and 20’s of people who converged in DC to demand Obama leave office. They fell short from the 10 to 30 million they claimed were coming.
Chanting “impeach Obama” they walked around the National Mall wearing American flag shirts and carrying the ever popular don’t tread on me signs. Many with microphones and megaphones screamed their demands or attempted to repeat the fear mongering rhetoric of Glenn Beck, Alex Jones and Of course the insane talking heads at Fox News.
One gentleman soapboxed in his old military uniform and screamed, wake tha fuck up! He went on talking about CIA drug fields, 911, Bengazhi and mostly by just saying those words. He never made a coherent sentence. At one point he stammers for words as he talks about the government going into places like the district of columbia and setting up puppet governments and blowing shit up. Apparently unaware he was in the District of Columbia.
They stood in front of the whitehouse demanding Obama come out. “We want obama” We want obama. And then stopping to pray the Lords prayer.
Most in earshot of the video I watched didn’t know all the words and were parroting the rooster who started the prayer only to follow about 3 seconds behind. They were praying as if they believed God would come down and help them out. Many carried crosses or wore Christian tshirts. Obviously these folks were all members of the Christian cult and were unfamiliar with using their own brains.
All in all, their attempts to get Obama out were unsuccessful the millions they expected didn’t exist.
Of course it rained but then Jesus saw fit to stop the rain at the same time the clouds at released all their moisture. A real miracle right there.
This prayer thing bumfuzzles me though. The jesus Character in their bibles gives explicit instructions on prayer. Matthew 6:5 reads, don’t pray in public. There is no exceptions given, only the Don’t pray in public. 4 verses later, Jesus tells you exactly how and what to say in prayer. Yet not a goddamned one of these religious nut jobs respects their own God enough to abide.
Instead they scream and demand the right to pray to our children, to pray opening government meetings and to pray in the streets and football fields. Yes, that’s right, fuck Jesus and his rules on praying – we know better.
And just ask a Christian, just ask them if prayer works. And every time, the answer is an emphatic YES! Jesus answers prayers, but you must have faith.
You know faith enough, to leave work, drive across the country to stand with 10’s and elevens of people in hopes of ousting the president of the united states. But where was Jesus? If jesus wanted the president to resign, couldn’t he manage it. Couldn’t he concoct a Birth Certificate from Africa, a prostitute with a cigar butt plug or even some damning bengazi evidence? Nope, instead Jesus stopped the rain after it got done raining.
If God was on your side, hell if he existed at all, couldn’t we expect something, just anything that would demonstrate the existence and that he might side with you?
Instead we have thousands of years, billions of prayers and not one single goddamned answer. Some Christians have a solution for the obvious problem, it’s called the Yes, No and not right now answers.
Either god will, won’t or maybe later.
Perfect! It’s why you don’t find any evidence of the successfulness of prayer. Even the Christians who would die for their faith in prayer will run quickly to the hospital in a medical emergency, they will call 911 when someones breaking in, they will defend themselves and their property with zero help from their imaginary friend on high.
Few will just trust God, say a prayer and let things happen as he intends. These folks are often the recipients of the Darwin Awards. They ignorantly excuse themselves from the genetic pool of thinking humans. Unfortunately the deluded masses don’t sit idly by waiting on Jesus and a miracle. They seek real solution but find miracles in the mundane.
Recently the Supreme Court opened a can of worms by siding with the Religious Zealots and allowing prayer in government meetings. Although these prayers have been illegally administered for decades and there are zero demonstrable results or benefits, SCOTUS saw fit to legalize the ignorant babblings of the mad.
Matthew 17:20 says if you have faith of a mustard seed then you can move mountains. Somehow over 2000 years and billions of christians, no mountains have moved, no amputated limbs regrown, no manna from heaven and no miracles.
Why not instead go take your prayers to the children’s hospitals? Thousands of you gather and pray that one child regrows that amputated limb and let’s demonstrate that awesome power of prayer. Over 16,000 die each day from cancer and most are being prayed for. Where is the answer from your God, where are the miracles. Would it really hurt for 5 or 10,000 of them to miraculously be well?
Your demand for prayer to be engrained and intertwined with my government can be likened to me demanding your reverence for my public noodle turning. You see I have a colander of dry noodles and when mixed and chanted over, my God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster answers. Similar to your God’s answers, it’s always a yes, no or maybe later.
Either way, my God is no less real than yours. My god performs as many miracles and he’s as just as invisible too. Your prayers do nothing, a complete waste of time. They are used as an excuse to make up for doing nothing. Praying for me is as useless as tits on
a boar hog. It’s the least you can do. Clicking like on Facebook would be a step above praying and could possibly garner me the support of real help.
And unless you’re Glenn Beck or a few other roaming prophets, God’s certainly not talking back to you.
Do you have a wooden spoon? Well get it and pray to it for 3 weeks. I mean really pray to the wooden spoon. Each time you need something, help finding your keys, help with a test, help with paying a bill, safety on your drive home, getting over a cold, fixing a relationship, I mean literally anything – just pick up that wooden spoon and pray.
Now I understand this will be hard. You will be aware that you’re praying to a spoon and that the spoon may realize you’re not being serious or expressing enough faith. But no matter, don’t worry. The Spoon doesn’t care. It loves to help or not help or help later on – whether you believe it or not.
Mark my words. The spoon will answer. If you pray for a safe drive home for example. When you get home safely, you can thank the spoon. Now if by chance you have an accident on the way home, there will be a reason. The spoon knows what you need and will never forsake you.
There will be a silver lining in that wreck that the spoon and only the spoon will know and have placed there for you. If you lose a child in the wreck, then just know that your child is in a better place and your child was needed to help carve new spoons in heaven.
I promise, I swear on the foreskin of baby jesus and his lying slut of a mom that the spoon will provide whatever answers you need. It may not be in your time or when you need them, but just know, the spoon knows what’s best for you.
And after you are done, compare the success rate with prayer to your particular god. You’ll find the results are exactly the same. The outcomes as random and unbiased as praying to horseshit.
Now think how silly that would be. You knelt down reverently in front of a big steamy pile of horseshit. Head bowed you ask for help. How stupid you would look. Well that’s how I see you when you bring that nonsense into our schools and meetings. In fact, praying to horseshit is a bit more believable for the fact that it exists. Your results will be equally benign as praying to your white jesus sky daddy.
Just remember that next time you want to pray, there will be those like me that think you have lost your fucking mind. There will be those of us who laugh and ridicule such ignorant acts. This could possibly be why Jesus said to pray in private. He knew just how fucking stupid it looked.
May God B-less.
talk about prayer with Bobby Cary / Rick Perry, Senate prayer,
Talk about billboards
Maybe Reasoncon II
We have winners! A couple weeks back I asked our listeners to post a picture of themselves on our facebook page for a chance to win a year membership into FFRF and subscription to the newsletter they send out. My goal…
The winners are: Jason Comeau and Amanda Brown! Please email email@example.com with your address and I’ll get you hooked up with a brand new membership.
And now the latest from Catfish Creek Trailer Park
Sitting here fumbling my thoughts that have been impregnated by eminent thinkers such as, Socrates, Machiavelli, Hitchens and Darwin to name a few. I can’t seem to Segway from intangible to tangible and blather the constituencies of my ignorance on paper due to the fact of this sheep. The problem and reason to this email is my coworker who sits next to me has a fucking big as “faith” emblem on her desk throwing off my concentration, or maybe it’s the fact she won’t shut the fuck up about their “god”. I’m a die hard atheist located in Texas ( yee-fucking-haw) and have been for as long as I can remember. I recently found atheist on air and haven’t been able to listen to much more since. I just wanted to thank yall for the shit yall do. If it wasn’t for Cash’s SPOT ON rants and Love’s hysterical commentary I would have probably shoved that emblem up that cock guzzling thunder cunts ass by now. Keep up the good shit!
The disclaimer at the beginning of the podcast cracks me up every time.
“Ha ha. I thought it was because I was new to Patreon that for some reason I wasn’t able to see the episodes. Anyway, congratulations Cash: you nailed it. My name is exactly pronounced as you did during the show (only slightly different 😉 You guys put on a great show. To be honest I came from the dark side (cognitive dissonance), but ever since I try to find three hours of free time to listen to your show. My US English vocabulary is growing with every show! I love the diatribes from Cash and the parts with dr. Steven are great! Love you are great fun and I just love your girly giggle 😉 Over here in the Netherlands most people could be considered Atheists, so not much of a “coming out” struggle. Funny that you mentioned last show that the founding fathers deliberately left out religion in the constitution as a reaction to the religious fanatics in Europe. How different things are nowadays. Anyway: keep up the good work! Greetz, from Coen de Bruijn (pronounced just as you read it ;-)”
Found you guys listening to the Cognitive Dissonance guys, what a find!
I teach psychology at an inner city high school in Albuquerque. This is a group of permanent grade recovery opportunities in my class. Your podcast inspired it. We listened to part of the episode on homeopathy, where the “Scientist” explains dilutions. My kids dropped the f bomb at the same point you did.
When I added reflexology last week they asked what it was. I was explaining connections to the feet when a girl in the class looked up and said: If you step on a rock you’ll give yourself a heart attack. I busted out laughing.
The doll hanging in the picture is a talking Pedro doll from Napoleon Dynamite. He has about 8 phrases he says when you press his stomach. We pretend to be psychic by predicting what he will say.
During the social psychology unit students were assigned to do something out of character and report on how they are treated. One of my students went to the mall in drag, straight kid, went with his girlfriend, that took some cojones. He got called a faggot a couple of times. Another kid wore an “I’m an Atheist” tee shirt to work. He reported that a little old lady spit on his shirt. Hard to believe but he has no reason to lie. He changed into an “I’m a Christian” shirt and was congratulated for the rest of the day. We had a good discussion on these experiences.
This Spring 2 different groups of students asked me to sponsor a Humanist club. I got them talking to each other and we now have a good core group and a good number of faculty allies. Our first field trip is to the Unholy Trinity Tour this weekend. This is their logo and t shirt design.
Just wanted to let you know you have an influence beyond the podcast, thanks, you really are an inspiration,
“Patience, patience, we shall win at the last. Never mind the ridicule, never the defeat; up again old heart – there is victory yet for all justice.”