Atheist Rapture

053 – When Dad Comes Back He’s Gonna Be Pissed – The Rapture

I’d never really given it much thought, but after I was told that I’d probably convert to Christianity after the rapture, my brain began to whirl.  But before I go into my Fuck You rant, I must give a huge thanks to those who have been and continue to support the show.  Our most recent Patrons are:

Valerie Nusskern
Vrad Vodrazka
Konrad Michels

Three new Patrons this week and THANK YOU!


Our newest Patron, Konrad Michels messaged the show and asked if he could donate to the billboard campaign.  Of course I said yes.  Moments later, there was a $500 donation and I can’t begin to tell you how overwhelmed I am.  Five Hundred Fucking Dollars, someone worked their ass off and then donated that to us! Konrad, we thank you!  Every cent will be spent on the Billboard Campaign that we are soon to start (thanks to you).


I know, look at us talking intellectual shit.  Robert Baty and Dave Foda joined us at about the 100 minute mark for this important landmark case that will eventually find it’s way to the Supreme Court.  The case deals with the tax exemption that pastors receive.  Yes, the basketball pastor, the 100+ lay pastors at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC and all the others as well.

Robert Baty (pronounced B-eighty) is a retired IRS investigator and a Christian.  He supports the State church separation and feels these religiously biased tax laws are unfair.

Haywood County Schools – AGAIN!

A sixth grade teacher handed out Vacation Bible School invitations in class on June 9th, 2014 (yesterday).  Long story short, the assistant principal called me back this morning and stated that the Haywood County School Superintendent approved the distribution by the teacher.  The FFRF’s – Freedom From Religion Foundation legal team have been notified.  I will update on progress as I receive information.

UPDATE: in short, it’s vague, but from FFRF:
1. Does the school district have a written fliers policy? Was the policy followed in this instance? Sometimes, teachers or parent volunteers take it upon themselves to distribute fliers on behalf of religious organizations without getting approval from the district. It is important to know whether the school granted access to the forum.
2. Who assembled the take-home packet? Was the religious flier handled by a paid school official? A public school teacher may only have limited involvement in the distribution of religious fliers. Please note that the rights of students to pass out literature to their classmates are more expansive than those of third parties.
3. Look at the fliers’ content. The flier should have a disclaimer disassociating the school from the religious group. The flier should not contain any proselytizing language, i.e., bible verses, Psalms, or other religious sayings. Likewise, the flier should not contain any religious symbols or imagery, i.e., a cross, depiction of Jesus, or images of children praying. Finally, the flier must notify the parents that permission slips must be signed in order for students to participate.

I so wish I was a Muslim representative at times.  Imagine attempting to get approval to pass out Muslim summer camp flyers at the public school.  What about Camp Quest?  I think we will work on finding a Satanist group who wants to distribute flyers via the school teachers and see if the Superintendent decides to discriminate or take on the angry mob of Christians who get pissed when their child comes home with a flyer for Satan.

My daughter Kalei found her name tag on her desk altered yesterday with the addition of, “fuck u blu hared bitch” with a picture of a penis and balls   The Assistant Principal of that school is investigating.

Woo Woo

Professor Stephen helped us understand the difference between a hypothesis, a theory and a law.  Of course the scientific definitions and not the layperson’s understanding.  We weren’t able to finish the entire segment including the all natural stuffs that are sooooo good for you, but will pick up where we left off next week.

Catfish Creek Trailer Park

Has a Facebook page now.  Cecil updates us on Rupert’s incarceration.  Pastor Roy gives an update during church services.  The screaming and moaning, it wasn’t the demons.

Imagine Having No Country To Call Home

Tonight I read part of a letter I received from a listener.  She has no home country, no state – she’s stateless.  Read the rest of the letter here.

Watch The Show

Did you know there are about eleventy seven ways to hear the show?  Check out for the big list.

Fuck You Rant – The Rapture

I was talking with some adults the other day.  I assume they were adults with brains and everything because they were the right size, their voices didn’t sound like a child with half a tongue and they were capable of conversing with me.


Religion was the topic and they knew I wasn’t of their kind.  One lady, I’ll call batshit Brenda only because that’s her name was telling me that I probably wouldn’t go to hell.  In fact she was confident that after the rapture, that’d I’d most likely convert and be given the opportunity to follow her God man.


I couldn’t really argue this because from what I understand of the rapture, it will be fairly obvious something major and possibly supernatural has occurred.  I mean,  there will be vaginaless chastity belts just lying in random places.  Shoes, clothes, cars all abandoned as Christians everywhere are exalted in all their nakedness.  Not to mention the rivers of blood and the demons running rampant.


So I asked her when this would happen and another gentleman spoke up.  He said, any day now.  We don’t know the minute or the hour, but anytime now.  So in our lifetime, I asked.  Oh yes, certainly.  The writings on the wall.


Well then, I suppose you have some heathen chauffeuring you around right?  What do you mean he asks?  Well, you must all be moral christians and wouldn’t dare think of causing harm to innocent people would you?  Well of course not.


Then you wouldn’t want to be driving your car and be raptured leaving an unmanned car careening down the road and risk those who may not have heard about Jesus yet.  What about pilots, day care workers, doctors, bridge operators, nuclear plant operators and all those workers who’s responsibility is to keep us safe?


I assume many are Christian and would be raptured up in a blink of an eye.  Wouldn’t this cause massive casualties among those left behind?  Wouldn’t millions of animals who’ve come to rely on humans for their food and shelter, starve and die?


Don’t you think it insensitive and immoral to work in a position that upon rapture could harm others?  Just the thought of all those cars with Jesus fish on their bumpers losing control and crashing into innocent people is worrisome.


So how can you justify having a drivers license, when you honestly believe, jesus is coming soon and you’ll be taken up without notice?


A few began to think of the implications but batshit Brenda had an answer.  Well that is out of our hands.  It’s up to the lord and his will be done.


But isn’t that like shooting into a crowd and defending the action with, “God’s responsible for where the bullets go.” ???


Would you do that?  No, well then why would you drive a 3000 lb bullet, knowing that you could be raptured and leave that bullet to crash wherever and in to whomever?


Wouldn’t all moral and sane Christians avoid all work and activities that upon their rapture could endanger the innocent?


She continued to argue.  She said that it was out of her control, that God would protect the innocent because he has control.  I quipped that her bullet into a crowd could be given the same defense but she didn’t agree.


This is Cognitive dissonance!  You will attempt to rationalize an insane and immoral act so that you can hold to this ignorant idea about a rapture.  Couldn’t the lord come up with a better plan, a safer method for extracting his loyal sheep?


You are no different than the person who kills their children to save them from the world.  It’s a irrational rationalization.  Your beliefs in talking snakes, unicorns, giants, angels, demons, justified rape as rewards for battle, moving mountains, floating zoos, resurrections, heavens, hells, stationary suns, water walking Jews and bread from the sky are all non sense!


Scientology catches grief over the completely absurd beliefs, but I must say, Christians, you have them beat.  When added up, your religious bullshit is overwhelming.


Imagine going to any society on the planet who weren’t indoctrinated from birth in this bullshit and proclaiming the gospels this way.


Well an invisible God made everything.  Then a talking snake convinced two people to eat from a tree of knowledge which ended up cursing everyone.  So this invisible man cloned himself, by impregnating a virgin who became a visible walking talking God on earth, he cured the blind but didn’t cure blindness, he healed the lame but didn’t heal lameness, and he died for 3 days so that you would be forgiven of the sins of the fruit eating man and women.  And if you believe this shit, God will come down and save you from the world he created while endangering everyone else who hadn’t bought into or heard this message yet.  So aren’t you lucky I am here now to share this glorious gospel with you?


None of what I said is an exaggeration, it’s all true – it’s your beliefs and yet if told honestly then no one, no sane person would accept it.  From the beginning to the end – it’s all completely immoral .


These ideas of a rapture are like the childish threats of young siblings.  When dad gets home he’s going to punish you for breaking my barbie doll.  Like some narcissistic sociopath who longs to see those punished that didn’t act in accordance to your ideas.


Oh you can eat peanut butter, but only this way, this much and this kind.  Otherwise later you’re going to be in trouble.


Well fuck you!  I’ve met diagnosed crazy people who are less crazy.  Part of me wishes you’d all be raptured the fuck out of here, but that whole reason and logic ability of my brain prevents me from considering the possibility and leaves me stuck in reality with the unthinking, amoral and superstitious fucktards such as yourself.



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